Author: Chris Palermo
While no divorce is ever easy, some divorces are the epitome of divorce gone wrong. Rational thinking is absent and emotions become explosive. As the crazy side of yourself and your partner emerges, you find yourselves arguing over the “kitchen sink.” Maintaining a rational perspective can be difficult, and for this reason it is vital to hire a seasoned divorce lawyer. A divorce attorney will protect your interests and advise so you can listen to a voice of reason.
Examples of Some Outrageous Divorce Entanglements
- In an effort to avoid talking about clients or recognizable first hand experiences, I found some examples in the Huffington Post where couples lost a viable perspective. The following do a good job of making the point:
- One couple argued for two hours over who would get the groceries left in the refrigerator. The value of the groceries was around $40 and the cost of the mediation time was about $1,000.
- During mediation, a couple efficiently arrived at a settlement for dividing personal property, retirement accounts and real property within and hour and a half. They also agreed on a custody arrangement for their six-year old son. However, they then proceeded to spend four hours arguing about how to divide time spent with their dog, which finally resolved through working out a strict calendared schedule for holidays and precise pickup/drop-off times. Read More
Consult with an Attorney about Your Divorce
It is important to consult with a lawyer early on in a divorce case to avoid unnecessary entanglements. Don’t allow your emotions to get the best of you. Attorney Chris Palermo offers compassionate legal help and can help you protect their rights.
Marriage Counseling: Divorce Mediation
Marriage counseling and divorce mediation are both tools to resolve conflict, and in some instances, couples counseling can salvage a marriage. However, even when couples can’t reconcile, which New York law calls an “irretrievable breakdown of the marriage,” they have options for deciding what form their divorce will take. Divorce can become an adversarial legal battle, dragging on in the legal system, or it can become a comparatively timely and amicable resolution obtained through mediation, negotiated settlement or some other type of alternative dispute resolution technique.
You may wonder, if you can’t get along with your spouse during marriage, why even try during divorce or after your divorce is final? A marriage counselor or therapist will tell you that unresolved conflict is emotionally damaging and can even impact your health. However, those most vulnerable to the effects of parental conflict are typically the children.
ABC News reported in a recent article that Dr. Gordon Harold, a researcher at Cardiff University in Wales, advises parents arguing in front of children to do so with caution because it threatens children’s emotional stability and can make them withdrawn, quiet, depressed, anxious, aggressive or hostile. However, parents resolving arguments calmly, clearly showing the effectiveness of negotiation and resolution, provide positive implications for children. Along the same lines, Dr. Phil says, ” Children learn what they live. Stop and think about what you’re teaching them.”
Coast to coast, whether through couples therapy in New York City or marriage counseling in Los Angeles, you can receive trustworthy guidance and rely on effective tools to deal with conflict. If divorce is inevitable, a compassionate NYC divorce lawyer can help you resolve issues through mediation. A caring therapist and an experienced lawyer who genuinely want to help clients achieve peace of mind can be invaluable for improving your quality of life.
Chris Palermo:Suffolk County Divorce Attorney
Gary Salatto-Divorce & Divorce Mediation Attorneys
Even though collaborative divorce has existed since 1990 many people contemplating divorce don’t know about it. Following are several frequently asked questions about collaborative divorce which may help you determine whether it is a good approach for your situation.
How is a collaborative divorce different from a traditionally litigated divorce?
In short, collaborative divorce is based on cooperation of the two parties and their attorneys. Specifically the process calls for:
• An open and honest exchange of information
• Insulation of the children from disputes
• Both parties use the same financial advisors, mental health consultants, appraisers, etc., instead of opposing experts
• A respectful and productive effort to meet the needs of both spouses rather than tactical bargaining
• The attorney’s goal is to guide the process to settlement
• There is parity of payment to each attorney so that neither party is at a disadvantage because of the lack of funds.
Gary Salatto-Divorce & Divorce Mediation Attorneys
While most people may believe that divorce is more prevalent among younger couples a new study has revealed that divorce after 50 is a growing trend.
How this changes the divorce settlement landscape
In divorces for younger couples often child custody and support issues are at the forefront. Once the child issues and property issues are resolved, typically the procedure moves forward to dissolution.
However, for after-50 divorcing couples, the needs and focus generally lie elsewhere. For example, child custody and support may not be an issue at all if the children are grown and no longer living at home.
Typically the issues that need to be considered for over-50 couples divorcing include:
• Health insurance
• Life insurance
• Retirement accounts/pension benefits
• Spousal support or other financial assistance, Read More
Also, the process of selling the family home can be problematic if the property is worth less now or the couple is underwater with their mortgage.
In addition to the emotional aspects of divorce, an older couple needs to analyze the problems that affect them because of their age and stage of life. You may be past the major earning years and if so, evaluating and dividing assets will require careful analysis.
Discuss your unique divorce circumstances with a Long Island divorce attorney
If you are considering divorce after 50, an experienced divorce attorney can be an invaluable resource in getting you through the process. If you are parents and grandparents together, mediation or a collaborative law approach to your divorce may be a better fit than litigation to resolve your issues. Talk to an experienced divorce attorney to discuss your specific circumstances and to answer your questions about divorce.
Prenuptuial and Post-nuptual Agreements
Though people commonly believe that prenuptial or postnuptial agreements are only for rich couples, in fact, depending on your circumstances, such agreements can offer predictability and protection to both spouses.
Why do I need a formal agreement?
There are several reasons you may want a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement, including:
- Significant marital assets
- You or your spouse has a business or professional practice
- You want to protect assets for children from a previous marriage
- You or your spouse expects a large future inheritance
When you have a prenuptial agreement it can help you to minimize disputes if your marriage fails. Further, a prenuptial agreement can provide you with security and predictability in the event your spouse dies. Read More
Typically, anything that you’d include in a prenuptial agreement can be included in a post-nuptial agreement and has the same purpose as a prenuptial—to protect both you and your spouse fairly. There is no set formula for either agreement because each marriage is unique and the agreements are tailored made for your circumstances.
Talk to a Long Island prenuptial attorney today
Entering into prenuptial and post-nuptial agreements with your spouse serves to protect your rights and financial future and can help to reduce disputes and offers security in the event of death or divorce. Talk to an experienced New York prenuptial attorney today to discuss your options for a prenuptial or post-nuptial agreement.
Mediation and Child Custody
Author: Gary Salatto :: LiDivorceSolutions
Center for Divorce Mediation
Divorce is a difficult process for anyone but it is especially difficult when children are involved. Above all, as parents you want to keep your child’s wellbeing at the forefront of any decisions you make. However, you are also dealing with strong emotions like anger, disappointment, and resentment. And unfortunately these strong emotions can get in the way of making rational and good decisions for yourself, your spouse, and your kids. Read More
Mediation is particularly beneficial in child custody disputes. Often parents don’t realize how stressful divorce can be for their children. Mediation can help alleviate that stress on several fronts for your children including:
Giving your children a venue for voicing their concerns
- Help develop a workable co-parenting plan
- Reduce overall stress for you and your ex spouse
- Act as a positive example for your children in problem solving and working out conflict. Read More
Further, through mediation you can agree on methods to deal with possible disagreements in the future, avoiding possible further stress for your children.
If you have a child custody issue you are trying to resolve, contact an experienced Long Island divorce mediator to learn the options available in your circumstances.